The young know the rules, but the old know the exceptions...

Every so often I am hit with a eureka moment. There is a term for it, like a shower spark or whatever, but essentially it is a theory that a certain part of your brain can kick into high gear when you are predisposed with something else ie in the shower or driving a long distance. I am cursed with these all the time and I say cursed because I have forgotten more profound ideas and theories than I'd like to admit. Mostly because I don't write them down and by the time I get to the blog it's been replaced with day to day clutter, either way it's frustrating. Every so often I'll remember one and try to casually slip it in but if I could remember them, my blog would be way more enlightening. You'll have to make due with my inane babble until I can get a tape recorder that floats around my head.

Anyway, it's Christmas day and we are relaxing after a couple days of whirlwind family visits. D and I decided to host this year for a few reasons. My side of the family has no real room for formal visits, her brother is hunting photo ops in Africa while on a not deserved/overpriced honeymoon, and except for her mother, all her family lives in Quebec. We are happy to do it honestly. I'm not a fan of driving long distances, I prefer to be in my comfort zone and frankly we have the room. Everything went without a hitch, everyone was on time, no one aired their festering grievances and there were plenty of cookies. All in all it was a classic old school xmas dinner and I must admit, one of the best holiday meals I have ever eaten. D really went above and beyond and worked her a$$ off. How she can work a fulltime corporate job and even have the inclination to pull a meal stream like that one is amazing and solidifies reason # 344 why I married her. I'll thank her with a foot rub later.

The farm is prepped and ready for next season, Phase 1 is complete. We were hit with a week of very warm weather and after a patented eureka moment, I was able to finalize a plan of attack, finagle my cousin into coming over to clear the rest of the Montego plot and move around some top soil. The neighbour had helped a lot previously but some key things were still nagging me.

• How to get the soil back to real growing potential without wasting so much money and time on rehab. 
• Where to get the soil from to even get the grading back to normal.
• How much real workable space will we have considering the hazardous waste and trees.
• How will be spread the soil without damaging the substrate and using up too much favour credit. 

Auditioning for scarecrow job on next years plot

 The final resolution is to clear and grade the first plot, which finally grew to a mere 100ft x 60ft. All the good clean top soil, which was left over from a parking pad the previous owner created nearby, would be moved to the side until needed next spring. The base now is a relatively clean spot lacking in an overabundance of healthy nutrients but good grading and tons of natural sunlight.

Our move for the space next year is to build small plots within this larger one. 3 ft by 15 ft each which will be perimeter lined with landscape/interlock stones and useful pieces left on site or skids of over stock stone my uncle's business can't use. An ultimate example in reduce reuse recycle, the hippies would be happy. The stones will surround each plot essentially just to keep in the dirt we'll be adding, in turn creating a pseudo raised bed style. Between each plot will be 2 - 3ft wide walkways topped with soy ink based newspapers/cardboard covered with hay we snagged from some locals. Each plot will then be filled with the rich topsoil we have piled in the corners and then a few inches of this GardenMax super soil a local garden company sells. At that point we will adapt each plot to what we need in terms of pH levels, porosity etc. From then on, those plots will stay there and just be rejuvenated each season in whatever way works best. In total there may be approximately 40-50 plots, but we'll see...

Not sure how the future plots (adjacent to Montego) will be done, but we aren't a huge fan of the row style of farming so if this works we may just buckle down and do the mini plot style for each addition, then just maintain them. Now that the snow has set in and land manipulation is at a stand still this will be an ultimate too be continued/stay tuned. The GardenProPlanner App discussed previously is on sale for $9.99 and worth every penny. The final seed details will be added at a later post. A friends uncle sent us a care package full of some pretty interesting seeds to mess around with. Some including, I think, a few psychotropic cactus seeds from the peyote lose your mind genus family. But you didn't hear that from me... 

Cooper at 16 weeks

Cooper update coming next blog but I will say this, which you can add to my Eureka File (EF): I am positive, not unlike greeting card/chocolate companies creating holidays like St.Valentines Day, there is a conspiracy to be uncovered where paper towel companies are perpetuating the idea of people adopting puppies... you heard it here first...

Finally, from our family here at Homestead U and Keltic Kreek Farm, we want to wish you a safe and happy (insert holiday here). May your best days of 2012 be your worst of 2013. We hope to share another year of progress and please feel free just to leave a hello below to let us know if/who  someone out there is sharing our trials and triumphs up to now.
(D and I have a bet as an over/under as to # of replies) 


Life Lesson #701: Best Xmas movies to watch Xmas day in order:

1. Christmas Vacation   
2. A Christmas Story
3. Scrooged
4. Elf
5. Die Hard
6. Gremlins
7. It's a Wonderful Life

It's never too late to catch up with old friends... unless you owe them money...

When you start doing a blog it's not uncommon to psych yourself up to be a Hemingway of sorts. You anticipate that your poetic ramblings will be quickly adored by thousands and it will be nothing at all to rip off poignant thought rivers daily. The fact of the matter is unless you put tons of time into pumping your blog, very few read it and the daily thing is a pipe dream for anyone over 25 with any kind of life. I will do my best and appreciate your patience. Not sure who that is directed to but if you read it, than it's you...

It's been a few days since the last post, my longest hiatus I think. If you were going through withdrawal I apologize but I'm sure it will be fine, this post may be a long one.

The garlic patch is in and growing. Things didn't really turn out like I had planned but hopefully it all works out. I borrowed my uncles dump truck and he gave me a few cubic yards of quality top soil to drop off at my place. I had wanted this "Max-gro" stuff from a local topsoil provider but ended up with one a step down (in my ignorant opinion). However it was much cheaper and I added a bunch of quality compost etc. so hopefully it works out. We'll know next fall if you can hang in there. Oh, I also planted a couple dozen bulbils but I'm not expecting much. If the whole thing craps out I won't be surprised. It's a first shot and I will be working right next to the garlic plot over the next couple weeks prepping Montego for next spring. 

Good to have great neighbours

Big side note bonus, when I pulled in with the dump truck, my neighbour, the old guy with all the tools, was in my yard mowing down my 5 foot hayfield of weeds in Montego. The whole thing was laid out flat from his industrial mower. It was a such a great lift, even D gasped when she saw it all cleared. In a way it took a mountain and made it a large annoying hill you'd hate to have to climb but can... oh he also had a bucket on the mower and dropped all my soil right into the garlic hole. Saving me about 3 hours of lugging a lame wheelbarrow back n forth. Country neighbours, so far, are great. Another neighbour, a young silver spooned kid a few doors south came over to say hi and offered a barter of some of our trees for some excavation work via his company. We do have too many trees which I will have to get rid of for planting but if we can sell some or at least trade them off for man hours/items than all the better. We still haven't sold our condo yet so money is tighter than (insert hillbilly one liner here)

The puppy, although cute as hell and full of life, has been a handful. In hindsight not sure it was the best idea to get him this quickly but I may say that at anytime. Once he's house trained and a loyal companion I'm sure it will be all great. He already knows how to sit and comes when his name is called. When he can use an abacus I'll call the media. By the way for those of you out there betting, we named the puppy Cooper. 

Future Greenhouse

All in all we love it so far. The property is huge which makes it all the better. We're still finding out new things about the house, hidden passageways and perks here and there. Something not so nice is the cost of everything. Things we need to buy for the farm business, things we need to buy to maintain/fix the house and everything in between. Most importantly D is happy and always has a little pep in her step regardless of what's going on. It's nice that we can be getting into our groove so quickly. I am however getting a little worried about pulling this whole things off. Just the small amount of work involved in getting the garlic patch going was a little tough. What am I going to do with a 60 x 80 plot, or even 4 acres. Hopefully by then aliens will have sold us slave robots that run off carbon monoxide or Twinkies... 
   
Life Lesson #17: To master your 9 X multiplication table hold up both hands palms up, fingers fanned out. Always starting with the number 9 in your head, try 9 x 3. The 3 being the 3rd finger on your left hand, put it down. The number represented by your fingers still up is the answer to 9 x 3  (2 and 7) 27. Try it with 9 x 5, the 5 being your pinkie finger on your left hand. Once you roll that down, the 4 fingers remaining on your left hand and the 5 on your right is the answer. 9 x 5 = (4 and 5) 45   
    

Wish I didn't know now, what I didn't know then...

So it's been a couple full days since we moved in and things have so far been great. D is over the top happy, telling me every 10 mins or so. I don't mind it really, as they say "happy wife, happy life."and the alternative would be a nightmare. We hit the ground running and have basically all the important stuff set up. The kitchen is functional, the office is up and downloading movies, the shower is hot but the garage is still full of boxes and that's ok for now.

In terms of farm work we bought a few key tools, mostly shovels and rakes, I've located the spot for the garlic to go and cleared much of the overgrown vegetation around our deck. Halfway through my battle on the deck jungle I thought for a minute Jane Goodall was studying me, but it was just a shadow.

Weepin' Willow

Our twin 50ft willows are now trimmed and no longer sagging to the ground. Some may think the willows could have waited but the trimming had ulterior motives since we needed some sort of ground cover for the garlic bed once they are planted and after a couple light frosts have it. Covering them with 4-6 inches of straw or leaves helps to regulate the ground temp and stops the bulbs from being dislodged during frost heaving. See there are things to learn here... Once we plant the garlic we are trying different combinations of additives and soil enhancements to see what benefits work. I'll let you know the final choices and ultimately the outcome in a later blog(s).. so stay tuned...

We pick up the puppy in 5 days, he'll be 8 weeks and ready for a new home, the cats will not be thrilled but they'll live. They haven't really adapted to the bigger house yet, both them and D are pretty jittery with the new noises. I sleep through anything, literally. In our old condo, the fire alarm would go off right outside our bedroom and it wouldn't even phase me. Hope that's true when the puppy (and kids) are whining/crying... I may fake it anyway... 
  
Life Lesson #76: What ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s...










      

One thing vampire children are taught early on is, don't run with wooden stakes...

In preparation for the coming move and fall planting season we are planning to hit the Toronto Garlic Festival which, turns out, is happening on our moving day next Saturday. In any other circumstance we would skip the garlic fest but because it's literally 2 mins. off the highway on our way up, we are going to make it happen. After we're packed up and loaded, D will head on to the Farm and I will make a slight detour for the cloves.

Better have a mint...

The 2nd annual Toronto Garlic Fest is a mix of food and farm suppliers with anything from oils and dried garlic to roasters and seed for planting. We have no interest in the food aspect at this point of course, but I have been doing some research as to who is going to be selling seed garlic there. Over the past few days I have taken the time to contact them, find out what strains they are bringing and in some cases asked them to set up a package for me to pickup. The reason for this is two fold. First, the obvious time constraint, if I can just pick it up and go all the better. Second, and more importantly, I'm hoping that the direct contact will edge them to perhaps include a better quality of seed vs a person just walking in off the street. I'll let you know how that one goes.

One of the hottest around...

The odd thing is, and this is a trait of mine I'm trying to dissect, I could care less about garlic. Not that I don't like it, but do I like it enough to go through all this hassle and energy? Not really, however it's a popular food, and if we want to have a solid hold on what people are going to eat/order then my own personal feeling don't come into the mix. Another example of this is the peppers we grew up on our balcony as a pre-test for out green thumb abilities. Along with a couple sweet peppers, we grew some habanero and a ghost pepper plant from seeds we bought on Craigslist. Ghost peppers being one of the hottest in the world if you didn't know. Again, I don't like spicy foods at all but many people do and if nothing else it's an added value addition people may appreciate just to try, or at least contemplate. I tend to be more on the side of diaper wearing when it comes to testing my spice resistance. D's brother ate one and said his eyes sweated... wished he got it on video. We've decided we will have a few odd things like this peppered (lame pun intended) throughout our growing stocks.

I guess the point is, we are trying to be prepared regardless of convenience and personal preference. Many books say to grow what you like to eat yourself, but god hasn't invented a cookie tree so... We will be prepared with the garlic for future growing seasons and prepared with a variety of unique items to offer to our customers as a way to stand out. Well that, along with quality organically grown products of course...

Life Lesson # 51: Never wear anything that advertises a company, unless they're paying you...

Be prepared, and careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching...

There's only 9 days left until we finally move in and the anticipation is taxing. We haven't even sold our condo yet, it was bad timing in August supposedly so until we sell, we are carrying 2 houses. D is so stressed her stress is palpable, I tend to lean more on the side of things will work itself out. Plus we have tons of positive karma in the bank. The place looks great and we only just listed 5 days ago. Either way, once its gone it will be a huge relief obviously.

So in preparation for the big move I've got the design for the chicken coop all set.

Chicken Coop for a King

Doesn't even matter that I wont be getting any chickens until spring time. I try to think ahead and give myself time to adapt any given project if needed. Also, knowing the design gives me time to gather things on the cheap from stores, garage sales, friends and neighbours. I probably won't even build the thing til march, but once I'm ready, we are good to go. It will be a winterised and 'ingenious' modification of this one here: Cooptopia Version 1.0

Another project I've have worked on is within an Apple app. Used with the iPad, it lays out a garden for you up to 5 acres. The details on the app are incredible. From every kind of fruit and vegetable you can think of, and all their planting/harvesting details. To succession planting, and warning you about duplicate planting issues, ie not planting tomatoes in the same spot as peppers the previous year. Easy to use and handy tutorials. Gardening App for iPad  It's the kind of thing you can lose yourself in for a few hours but I'm hoping once it's set up, it will be a irreplaceable tool. No more pen and paper graphs. I should mention it's 20$, but I feel worth it, and I think it goes on sale once in a while.

However, the top priority and first project to work on once we move is an in-law suite for D's mother. I'll make sure it's soundproof and a complete separate entrance. I'll keep you up to date on the progress because I know you're interested. Nothing over the top, new entry door, separation door, install new floors, electric fireplace and a kitchen. Perhaps a small deck and sliding glass doors off a guest bedroom. All this is second nature to me having worked in construction for 15 years. If you are a fan of HGtv you can see me as a lead contractor 1st season on the show Design Inc. But that will be our little secret...

Life Lesson #198: Everyone's got a story that could break your heart. Be patient and don't judge too quickly... 
 

Families are like fudge, mostly sweet but there's a few nuts...

When I was in grade school, we lived with my grandmother for a few years. She lived down the road from the same school my mom and most of her 11 brothers and sisters went to growing up. My brother was 4 years older so he went to school by himself without his snot-nose little brother tagging along. That was fine by me because I had my own companion to walk me. Our dog Kelly was a Border Collie mix and pretty much the reincarnation of Einstein. Every day he'd walk me to school a couple kms. through traffic lights, over a bridge and passed numerous other dogs, cats and scrambling animals and then, at lunch, he'd come back by himself, get me and walk me home. Twice a day he did this, he was never late, never forgot and never complained.

For whatever reason we moved to an apartment and had to give Kelly away. I had no vote in that decision and was devastated, but I never forgot how great that dog was. I vowed to one day get another Border Collie mix and they'd watch over my kids too. (This was reinforced by an article I read recently about BC mixes being best dogs to own) D and I presently live with 2 cats in our condo, both are rescues. Mojo would be mine and BiBi (aka Scarface) would be hers. Take a guess as to which one is the cuddly genius and which one is basically a rug we feed and clean up after...

Bibi "relaxin"

Mojo "chillaxin"

So when D and I were midway through our courtship I casually let her know that one day we would have a BC mix. The idea was to wait til our kids were 5ish and then find a pup. D has had dogs before but we both knew this condo was no place for a K9 so I shelved the idea but brought it up here and there to ensure it worked it's way in like a bad jingle. Again, D takes the bragging rights when she comes home a couple weeks ago and she found a guy who has BC and Blue Heeler cross puppies 2 hours north of us. This is the kind of thing that makes me love her more. I had no idea she was even scouring the net watching for this. 

Obviously when you're just buying a farm and starting a family, throwing a dog into the mix is just a bad idea. However sometimes if you're going to mix it up in life, you might as well get it all over with at once, especially when it carries with it the trifecta of positive points:

1. This guy up north had a fresh a litter of 11, which is important to me. I like to have a choice of many. I'd do a fancy whistle or kissing sound to see which one responds, runs over and ends up being the lucky winner of our family unit. 
2. His price was reasonable compared to most we've seen around. (see previous post about saving $$) 
3. Because of the puppies birth date, we can't even have the dog til 2 weeks after we move into Keltic Kreek, giving us time to settle in before he/she craps all over the place. 

Short story long, we drove up today and went to find our newest family member. The guy was a nice enough older gentlemen farmer type with ducks running wild and a few cows gnawing the fence line here and there. He had the pups all caged up with the parents watching closely nearby. Overall we were pleased that it didn't seem like a puppy mill but my attempt at an ultra primal link with one specific puppy via whistle or kissing sound went out the door because they were all constantly chewing at my jean pants and growling playfully. We ended up deciding we wanted a male which narrowed our choices from 11 to 3. Next I wanted one that stood out in terms of markings and didn't seem too runty. And if they could look like a pirate or little rascals dog that would be a bonus.

And then there were 5... We are happy to announce, to our 3 readers, the newest member of our family, we pick him up in 4 weeks.
**(Name Withheld for Security/Indecision Reasons)

Future Chicken Wrangler

Life Lesson #112: Children aren't that different from puppies. When it comes to raising good ones, start early, be firm and stay consistent.
 







 

Jack of all trades, master of some....

So as we were looking for the new house, I've been hanging out at my friend Paul's house 1 night a week. Not only for socializing with a good friend and mentor, but to use his carpentry shop. This guy taught me a good chunk of what I know in terms of skilled trades. To be honest, a lot of what I learned was what 'not to do'. He's a great carpenter and if he didn't love the beer so much, he'd probably be retired by now or at least have a crew of minions doing his grunt work. Life Lesson #65: Everyone you meet in life will teach you something, and sometimes it's what not to do, you just have to pay attention.
 
First time I picked up a hammer to build something was in front of him 15 years ago. I lived in his basement for a few years, helped him build it in fact, and moved from there in with D when things got serious. In preparation for farm living I've built a few items which will come in handy I hope. My process to making something is simple. I do tons of research reading, youtubing etc. Get multiple examples of an item I want to make, take all the best features of each of them based on my needs, and then execute the project with intensity, sometimes even tunnel vision but we'll see examples of that later I'm sure. 

What's a garden without black gold! 

Interior Worm farm sans worms

The first project was a worm farm.
(aka vermicomposting)

A design made from:
1) 2 large Rubbermaid containers
2) Vent caps of a couple sizes 1" and 2" from Home Hardware
3) 1/8 in plastic mesh screen
4) Pantyhose.
(I can elaborate on design if anyone requests it)

They'll pay dearly to live here

So far the thing works great. We bring it inside during the winter (we've had it for over a year now) and have never once had an issue with smell or mess. Trust me, if D smelt anything it would have been dumped a long time ago. A key move I find is to freeze the food you are feeding the worms first. When you are planning to feed them, nuke it in a microwave for a few minutes, let it cool and dump it in with the worms. Pretty simple and effective for cutting down waste and adding some useful black gold to the plants we have on our patio. Anyone, even with a small condo space could do it this way and not have an issue.  
 
*Note: This completed farm bin (above) goes inside an untouched duplicate (or shorter) bin to catch any water or liquid gold which might seep out.

Feel free to be yourself, everyone else is already taken...

It's interesting when I think about people's initial reactions to news about making a move like we are. The older people all moan about the workload, wondering why you'd do such a thing. The people our age all moan about the commute or distance to the 'action' and younger people (pre 25) could care less, just shrugging with a light moan of indifference. What makes it interesting is as the time approaches, every one of them seems almost as excited as we are. No one we know lives in a situation like we're moving into, and yet I can almost tell that in some way, many of them seem to wish they were. Everyone is welcome to come by and hang out/help on the farm, but I'll assume the draw of that will wear off within a few weeks. 

When we first started dating, D and I had zero intentions on moving to farm country or starting a business based on anything to do with Mother Nature. As time passed, our discussions about food quality, EotW scenarios, the zompocalypse and other interesting pillow chat started to make us think differently. The push to move into the country and be self sufficient happened organically. Just through osmosis we one day looked at each other and agreed which direction was best for us as a family. Once we started down that path, we've never looked back. Life Lesson #343 - When it comes to your better half, always be yourself and speak your mind honestly.

So the initial plan, as it stands, is to build the farm to a stage of feeding our family, our extended families and any local neighbours who are interested in quality and sometimes unique foods. We'll do this without pesticides, hybrids or damage to our ecosystem. In the end, we don't care about what other people think or moan about. It's not just about the money obviously, it's not about the in-laws all accepting it. It's about a unified dream and as D says 'Team Us' (usually followed by a Wonder Twins fist pump)

Everyone can have their own dream but this one is taken. We have plans to start a festival for a certain veggie we feel is being neglected and perhaps a cook-off contest of some kind. But none of this can happen without us building various projects.  These are including but not restricted to the following. This blog will share them all in some capacity and if you have any questions feel free to ask, I assume no one will read this but D and I.

8 ft Patio Sunflower

• Massive Greenhouse
• Chicken Coop  (aka Cooptopia)
• Beehive(s)  (aka Buzztropolis)
• Worm Farm
• Root Cellar  (aka Root Cellar)
• Carpentry Shop
• Solar Heater
• Solar Power Unit
• Solar Dehydrator   
• Canning Station
• Composting Station
• Fruit Orchard
• Vegetable Garden
• Mushroom Farm 
• Gunsmith Station
• Herb Garden
• Water Collection Unit (grey?)